Gentlemen don’t kiss and tell. Luckily for you, I’m no gentleman – I’ll spill the beans while the afterglow is still afterglowing. Despite all sorts of commotion over European Geography and where Russia fits into it all, Team 3 came out on top (finally) with an anti-climactic 88 points. Ten teams left disappointed, including second-place Tits and Giggles (who picked up that a sex toy-heavy WTF was aimed at them) and Poop & Pee Warriors, whose extra player dropped them to third place. Angry single person team Nerds of Anarchy managed to beat out four teams for his best finish of the season, but not before letting everyone know how much he disapproved of our classification of Europe. Naughty Penis zeroed their double, keeping them out of the money. They would’ve had third place if they’d only doubled Wisco Card Games or Dead or Alive. Daddy’s Bed took the name, but splinter team Jorts proved they were the varsity squad, beating their alma mater by 10 points. One-man team Happy Wang Doodle beat out seven-person team Tunnel Snakes, who given their 34 points (17.4%) would be better served by their secret Indian name “Sad Trombone.” New team NAMBLA finished with 47, good enough to tie for eighth place, which really isn’t good enough. Once again we’re left to wonder what the Hell happened to league-champion Monkey vs Robot, who even with their core team in attendance could barely squeeze out 62 points and a fifth-place finish.
Three weeks remain to unseat Poop & Pee Warriors from the top spot and steal the league championship. Team 3 has the momentum, Monkey vs Robot has the experience, Tits & Giggles have the tits and giggles. All three have a shot. Someone’s going to have to dominate the next three weeks to take it. I couldn’t say who – I’m not a soothsayer; I can barely write trivia.