Continue reading »]]> Ok, so that little kid that came up to me just as I was about to announce the WTF category was probably the cutest thing that’s happened to me in a short while. Thankfully, she was too busy telling me about her bowing game to see the line of butts on the title slide. I doubt her dad would have been mad anyhow, but still, a couple of those butts look… um… productive? Gross.

This is the last week at The Tracks, and the coincidentally the last week for me for a while. We move to The Red Dot April 15, which is a Monday, where Greg will pick up the show until I’m done with school (Thanks Greg!).

Tonight’s show is slow. A lot of you are boring me and the rest didn’t bother showing up at all (L&L: I will be holding your Karaoke machine hostage until May unless you say different). The exception is the tall dude in Team Quotes (going by “I need a Samich” tonight) who keeps correcting the grammar in the slides. Usually my gig but I’m busy drinking. Representative lady-gal of the same team also just gave me an Easter brownie, easily making my night. This is the second unexpected brownie I’ve gotten this week. It’s delicious.

Monkey vs. Robot is doing well, which is good because they have 7 players tonight and will take a penalty for it. Melissa the server got a new tattoo, and I’m kind of jealous of it. OH! The Famous Horses category:  You’re all screwed and it’s my fault. You’re welcome.

ANYWAY, I don’t care to comment on how well or poorly (mostly poorly) the 5 teams that showed up tonight are doing. This Bassnectar remix of “Where is my Mind” is pretty alright, though I advocate not fucking with original genius wherever possible.

Update: the brownie might have acid in it. This should prove interesting as I enter into Bat Country and aspire to “not stop.”

Update: I am “killing it with the soundtrack tonight.” Yer dogamn right I am.

In other news, I SUPER glad this RIDICULOUS blog post saved while I had to shut down me PIECE OF SHIT TOSHIBA that forgets that it has wifi capability. In another life, I study things like wifi networks and how entirely frustrating they can be.

Round 9 and still only 2/5 doubles.

And my computer (and/or Tracks wifi) is being a shit again. So there.

See you in May, until then all my ambivalence,

Leslie

Continue reading »]]> As expected, Team Quotes (“The Snatch Has Hatched”) took the league, but no one cares. The big news this week is that Wait, The Holy Trinity Doesn’t Mean A Threeway finally broke through with a win. This didn’t affect league standings much, but it’s always nice to see a new team break through with a win. Word is this team is stocked with academics, which means they’re destined to win once every ten weeks or so and strive to stay out of the basement the other nine.

Tits & Giggles emerged victorious in a tiebreaker with Poop & Pee Warriors in a battle of the ampersands. Tits guessed that Bill Withers says “I know” 24 times in “A’int No Sunshine When She’s Gone,” while Poop thought the answer was 31. Bill actually exhorts the phrase 26 times. No one’s right, but someone wins. Welcome to trivia.

Monkey vs Robot took fourth place, their best finish in recent memory. Is a return to glory in their future? Could be. Cock Knife had a middle fifth-place finish, probably because Kyle showed up hours early and drunk. Fort Pork Jorts took last among teams present in the league, but they’re not in last tonight! Not a bad showing at all. Rounding out the bottom three Mondo Fromage put in a solid 63-point effort, Daniel Tigers escaped last place with a 49, and Nerd of Anarchy fell to last with 47.

Another league down, but one more week at Tracks remains. We should have details on our return to Red Dot next week so stay tuned.  I hope you had as much fun playing as we did writing and hosting. Thanks for playing.

(It was good to see you all again; I’m looking forward to next time.)

Nick

Continue reading »]]> Welp, it ain’t over till it’s over…but it’s basically over.

“Popes Up, Hoes Down” took another week with a solid 106 points, extending their league lead. Tits & Giggles managed second place to keep them in third for the league. Poop & Pee Warriors came up with another lackluster performance, but managed to stay in second overall. One man crew Nerd of Anarchy came in third which leaves him in fourth overall, tied with Cock Knife cock KNIFE. Here’s the rest of the rundown – The Bike’s Not For Sale, Pope Francis took fifth, Monkey vs Robot took sixth (seriously, guys, Eliot Spitzer thinks you threw it all away). Mondo Fromage took seventh, probably thanks to bitching the whole time about the show going too slow. Cock Knife limped in (tee hee) with a next-to-last place finish, leaving Fort Pork Jorts in the cellar thanks to poor math skills and an extra player.

Nick’s back in town, so you guys have one more week to tell him how much he and his questions (but mostly him) suck. I expect better of you next week. Only once was his mother referenced in an answer and it was paired with Greg’s. Piss-poor work, people. I am disappointed.

Continue reading »]]> Ok folks, we’re getting down to the wire.

Last week the crash heard ’round the world was Poop and Pee Warriors losing the lead in league play to Team “Quotes” who were “Sprouting Pubes” at the time. This week started with a super strong double for Team “Quotes,” who by this time were brandishing the name “Dick Axe, son of Cock Knife.” Apparently, clinching the league lead is not enough for this ambitious team that is now spreading its dominion over other team’s names. Can they be stopped?

First period saw some good play in round 2; “Dick Axe” got a fully scored double with Current Events and most teams did pretty well in round 4, Gossipers and Liars. Race Car joined us this week and stuck around the whole game, proving they have the moxy to be wrong and tough at the same time. Cheers to you three. This period ended with Tits & Giggles in 3rd with 30 pts, Fort Pork Jorts making an astounding leap from last week to tie with Poop & Pee Warriors for second with 31 pts, and “Dick Axe” swingin’ hard with 55 pts in the lead.

Second period saw some weak play all around as rounds 6 and 7 stumped most of you. Round 6 was the Wild Card, so not too surprising there, though I would have hoped for more of you to know your Back to the Future lore a little better. Round 7 was Wheels of Wheels which saw a whole lot of nothing from anyone but “Dick Axe” and Nerd of Anarchy (who was in fact plural tonight). No doubles in this period whatsoever which is dangerous; I thought we got over that last week, guys. This period ended with Poop & Pee Warriors tying up third with Nerds of Anarchy for 39 pts, Tits & Giggles climbing the ranks with 52, and “Dick Axe” holding the lead with 72 pts.

Last period was an epic shit show with everyone trying to find a last minute double, most teams throwing themselves at Board Games like lemmings from a cliff. Of the five teams that doubled this, only Fort Pork Jorts (who will explain their name to me someday) scored, hanging tough with 16 pts. Round 11 saw strong doubles from Tits & Giggles and Poop & Pee Warriors each getting 24 and 26 points respectively in Back to the Future-verse. Nerds of Anarchy also doubled gleaning a point for each team member. Monkey vs. Robot saved their double for Scientific Laws in which they scored, kind of. All said and done with minor arguing and abandonment, third place for the night went to Poop & Pee, hanging in there with 77 points, second to Tits and Giggles closing an astounding gap with 94, and first to “Dick Axe” with 95 points.

Stay tuned as some kind of freaky German orgy dukes it out over the next two weeks. As usual, thanks for playing, see you soon.

LP

Continue reading »]]> Well that was nice.

I like how the writers kick your ass for a few straight weeks and all of the sudden people are doubling in the first third of the game. Fort Pork Jorts doubled in round 1 with “The Oscars,” unprecedented! Too bad they were so quick on the draw they left most of the bullets at home. “Current Events” saw a perfect double from Team “Sproutin’ Pubes” with Mondo Fromage close behind with another largely successful double. Rounds 3 and 4 saw some lean scoring, but only Poop & Pee Warriors laid down a zero. More on that later… First third landed with “Sproutin’ Pubes” and Mondo Fromage with 42 apiece, Tits & Giggles and Cock Knife with 34 apiece, and Daniel Tigers with 28.

Started out the second 3rd with “Wild Card” which threw a few of you off, more zeros here. Round 6 was “World Capitals,” Tits and Giggles had a pretty successful double, can’t say the same for Jim Nabor’s Husband, who are quickly becoming the new Tunnel Snakes (since TS has been MIA since the beginning of league play, frown). Round 8 was ” The Shawshank Redemption” by request, Cock Knife and Poop & Pee doubled. Cock Knife did OK, but Poop and Pee… Not only left the bullets at home, they kind of forgot the gun. Top scores at the end of this period was “Sproutin’ Pubes” with 71, Tits & Giggles with 70, and Cock Knife with 64.

Last period got a little hairy with four teams left to double. Daniel Tigers doubled “Wheel of Pasta” and did OK, Hillshire Farm Pork Cutlets doubled “Country Music” and did ‘meh’  and Nerd of Anarchy and Monkey vs. Robot waited until Round 12 and got “Best Korea.” Hopefully THIS time they learned. All and all the greatest upset was seeing last weeks winners show up in 8th place. Maybe next week Poop & Pee WARRIORS will show up and leave the knaves at home. Night ended with Cock Knife (cockKNIFE) in third with 83 points, Tits and Giggles in second with 89, and Team “Sproutin Pubes” for the win with 98 points.

Thank YOU and have a good night.

Continue reading »]]> Everybody O.K. now? Gotcher free shots of lime jello liquid? Got a few points in every category? Good. Now to the shit talking.

The first third when admirably. Nobody doubled ‘Crybabies of Note,’ but none of you did too bad there either. That is, no zeros so far. Round two was ‘Current Events’ which some of you did pretty well at, namely “Pope Been-a-Dick” and Poop & Pee Warriors, each scoring into the teens in that round. But I’m a little miffed at my buddies in What Time Is It? who I know to be scholars and threw down a grand total of 1 point in that category. Better keep coming, dudes. Round 3 was ‘The Papacy’ which proved that all of you are going to hell except Cock Knife who haggled in a most God-like fashion for a full score. Blessed are thou who readeth Wikipedia. We ended this section with Poop & Pee in first with 48, “Pope Been A Dick” in second with 39, and Cock Knife with 31.

Second third went well, nobody walked out anyway. Most of you wisely doubled a 50/50 in round 8 with ‘Dead or Alive’. Monkey vs. Robot and Mondo Fromage aced it, What Time Is It and Cock Knife got close. Round 7 was tricky for all despite the encouraging title slide. Top score for ‘Roadside Oddities in Wisconsin’ was a whopping 5 points to my friends in What Time Is It. Scores at the end of this round saw Monkey in first with 76 points followed by Poop and Pee, and Cock Knife.

Last third was fun. After green shots and plenty of other drinks everyone was getting kind of loud. Melissa was impressed. She didn’t think you could drink that much on a Wednesday. She’s young. Anyway, most of you did OK at ‘Yoga Hard Mode’ and I aced my quiz thank-you-very-much. Cock Knife would have done fine too, they pulled off a 10 in that category. Round 10 was my second favorite category for the evening, ‘Large Men of R&B’- What Time Is It? and “Pope Been a Dick” know their hefty crooners just fine. My favorite round for the evening was ‘Now That You’re Old Enough, It’s Time To Talk About What Mom Does For A Living.’ “Pope Been A Dick” and Tit & Giggles doubled here which probably explains why Tits went from first last week to last this week. Way to run the gambit folks. The night ended with Cock Knife picking up third with 86, Monkey vs Robot in second with 89, and Poop and Pee Warriors in first with 92.

Thanks for playing folks, you guys are real troopers. Next week the honeymoon is over.

Love, Leslie

Continue reading »]]> Week 4 in league here in Milwaukee. A giant week of disillusionment and abuse.

Things started out ok in the first third. And to be fair, the writers did warn ya’ll about doubling early, didn’t think they were serious though. Jim Nabor’s Husband got a perfect score in “Yoga”, good work there, probably wish you had doubled earlier, as you do when you play our little game. Cock Knife did good in that round too, 1 point shy of a full score, and I admire them for offering the sanskrit version of poses. Cheers to ya’lls. First third ended with “Gooch, Grundle, or Taint” in first with Cock Knife and Tits & Giggles close behind.

Second third saw a slide that most of you did not recover from. It’s like we collectively got to that point in the night where people die  and just kept getting colder. Tits & Giggle offered some bravery in round 5 and made it to 11 points in “Things about Denver” but theirs was the highest score in that third with the sole exception of Poop & Pee Warriors with 13 points in “Aliens.” Yikes. It only got worse from here. Second third closed with Poop & Pee Warriors 56, Tits & Giggles 52, and “Gooch, Grundle, or Taint” 50. No doubles so far either.

Last third brought the killing blow. Round 9 saw some brave doubles from Poop & Pee, Gooch, and Jim Naber’s; gleaning 2(ouch), 16, and 6 respectively. Round 10 though, not so good. Zeros across the board for “Computer Science.” I’d toss a bone at the “up and coming field” but even I had no ammo by this point. Some of you rallied in round 11, namely Tits & Giggles, but it was full slide afterward. Round 12 celebrated the lyrics of Aesop Rock except I think we actually succeeded in making the man a few enemies. I will point out, however that 6 of 9 teams waited until this round to double (I TOLD you) but still, Tits got a 10, Fort Pork Jorts got 2, and everyone else got zilch. The night ended with Poop & Pee in third with 65, Gooch with 74, and Tit’s clenching first with 80 points.

Rally up for next week, I have a feeling there will be bones to toss from the picking this week.

Cheers, L

Continue reading »]]> Deal is, if I kickstart the Madison end of this blog, heir Gregory will toe the line. I’m holding you to it.

In much the Madison fashion (and I can say so as is my birthright) you all have a problem with timing. All the fancy trivia posters say the game starts at 7 and you lot saunter in like it’s 11 below outside. A reasonable excuse you cannot claim forever.

I liked this group. You have panache. Team I’m Lizzing even doubled IN THE FIRST ROUND, something my Milwaukee associates are too pussy (or drunk) to do. Anyway, this team turned out to be a veritable collection of badasses. One even knew Greg back in the day though didn’t stick around for a Q & A on the topic…

Team Haricot Noir wins for “coolest team name associated with Greg’s diet” and I’m pretty sure I mispronounced it all night. They doubled the extreme opposite round (that’d be round 12) to mediocre success but I was still proud to have them around.

The final scores for the night were Haricot Noir with 67 and I’m Lizzing with an astonishing 113, excellent for a team of newcomers. You would have killed my teams in league play. I hope you come back.

Continue reading »]]> Welcome back to week 3 of 10 at The TRACKS. Here’s what you all look like:

I’m beginning to be disturbed by the lack of faith y’all are bringing to the first third of this game. Poop & Pee Warriors and team “QUOTES” (dressed this week as “Shart Week”) both had top scoring rounds with “Denonyms” and “Guierrmo del Torro” respectively but not so much love was had in the rounds they did double. Courage people!  Still, both teams managed to be in the top three with Tits & Giggles close at hand.

Second third went like this: I was emphatically pleased that our old buddy Greg showed up at the top of this round despite some bad luck he met later in the night.* Fort Pork Jorts and “Shart Week” both doubled “Current Events” with out much success and it was mostly bollocks from the rest of you. Sure, we had a Milwaukee Bucks category and “Logos” was there too, but we also gave you “Female Animals,” sheesh.

Last third was pretty standard though we did try out our curve ball with “Bamboo Harvester of Sorrow.” I was especially proud of our writers this night. Very clever, more so than usual. And jokes on all of you that though you were going to get a nice juicy 50/50 in the last round. NOT SO MUCH. Did see some bravery in round 11 from NoA and newcomers, Jim Naber’s Husband, the former of which almost scored third except for that pesky extra man penalty.

Final scores went like this: Tits and Giggles in third with 69 (wink), “Shart Week” (who could have killed it with a better placed double) in second with 93, and Poop & Pee Warriors landing first with 101.

*This town is filled with vultures. Please be careful with your stuff.

Continue reading »]]> WELP, we’re leaguing again and you know what that means. This blog post is slightly more justified. Hell. Yes.

The first third saw a very wise double by Nerd of Anarchy who aced it with ‘Catchphrases.’ This was a particularly strong round for a few other teams as well, which leads me to believe catchphrases are the stuff trivia is made of.  “Richard Cumpumper Esq.” took first in the first third, followed by Poop and Pee Warriors and NoA. Nice to know we’re all grown ups.

Second third was ruled by ‘Canuckornaut,’ which yielded three full scored doubles by Poop & Pee Warriors, Cock Knife (cockNIFE), and the Tunnelsnakes. Well done you guys, especially T-snakes. I think that’s the highest score yet. Poop and Pee, Cock Knife (cockNIFE), and Daniel Tigers topped this third with 97, 83, and 75 respectively.

Last third was a little rough. Round 10 saw two perfect scores from Cock Knife (cockNIFE) and Tits and Giggles who know their Greek Gods. Very impressive. Last two rounds, not so much. Whitney Cummings sucks anyway, but not knowing your local Zoidberg? Shameful. Anyway, the first game of league play ended with “Richard Cumpumper Esq.” in third with 97, Cock Knife (cockNIFE) in second with 112 and Poop & Pee Warriors killed with 128 points. Good job people.

Next week, no co-host, but better music. You’re welcome.